User's Guides

So who looks at user's guides and operating manuals anyway?

Some of my friends have videocasette recorders that they bought a decade or more ago. Somehow they managed to get them hooked up to their television sets. Mainly their VCRs are used to play rented VHS movies, which are nowadays obsolescent (if not actually extinct). They have never figured out how to record a program off the air. If they know they will not be able to watch a favorite program at its scheduled broadcast, they will ask a friend, or a savvy younger family member, to do the recording for them on another machine.

In one case I know of, the LCD display on the VCR blinks steadily at 12:00 because the owner never figured out how to set the correct time, and had never once looked at the manual since it came out of the box.

But then who am I to talk?

I may have a shade more knowledge than the average guy of my generation about electronic gizmos such as digital cameras and camcorders and home computers, but there are other electronic appliances around the house whose many-faceted features I have not mastered. And the odds are that I probably never will.

Take our fancy-schmantsy microwave oven, for instance. We use it to warm leftovers, to cook a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast, and once in a while to defrost frozen meat. Need a cup of hot water? Just nuke it in the microwave for a minute or two. These are the things most people use that sophisticated time-saver for.

But this hi-tech machine has at least a half-dozen other buttons that we never use, or don't know when to, or even understand why they are there: "Sensor Reheat", "Combination Roast", "Sensor Beverage", "Sensor Popcorn", "Sensor Cook", "Time Defrost", "Temp Cook/Hold (probe)", "Start Delay (reminder)".

"Sensor Popcorn?" Heck, we never eat popcorn. And what is "Combination Roast"? Can you actually roast meat along with potatoes, green beans, and carrots in combination in the microwave oven? Is that what that button is for?

And then on our regular oven, what is the difference between "Convection Bake", "Convection Broil", and "Pure Convection Broil"? And how do they differ from the plain "Bake" and "Broil" buttons next to them?

And take the cell phone. It's now a miniature computer, radio, camera, telephone directory, wireless Internet connection, calculator, dental appointment reminder, alarm, and God-knows-what-else all rolled up into a piece of plastic and metal not much bigger than a box of kitchen matches. You can spend a couple of days and still not figure out all its complicated features.

And the list goes on and on.

Who on earth has the time to read manuals these days?

Have a wonderful Fourth of July!